National Caregiver Day

I have been slacking on my posts with the crazy weather and the kids home from school, but decided to do a post because it is National Caregiver's Day and wanted to talk about my experience.

When Ray was sick I heard so often, "I don't know how you do it?!" To me this wasn't even a question. When I married him I vowed through sickness and health and doesn't everyone do that for someone they love? Married or not? I watch some of my friends take care of their children or a sick parent. You do it because you love them.

Is it hard? Absolutely! It is the most draining thing you can do. You want so badly to make everything better and you can't. You can only help them through whatever it is they are going through. Emotionally I was a mess watching him deteriorate.

You don't do it for recognition and I never wanted pity. I didn't want people to feel sorry for me...I wasn't sick. I didn't want attention for it because it was something you just do.

Did I feel guilt about some of the things I did while being a caregiver...yes. I remember making him walk longer distances than he should have at times because I felt like it would keep his strength up. I made him go into the store one time with me to pick up scripts because I thought he should do something "normal". I look back and feel incredible guilt about doing these things. At the time I felt they were things that needed to be done so he wasn't giving up and would keep him strong. Now I look at it as me wanting him to have been those things at those times.

Your days as a caregiver are spent taking care of that person. I remember having to be up at a certain time every day to remove his food bag or go to bed at a certain time to put it on. I had to clean tubes and bags, etc. Make multiple slurpee runs a day because that was one of the few things he was able to tolerate. I remember constantly cleaning everything, driving to and from appts, picking up scripts, and trying to be an emotional support all while struggling too.

As a caregiver remember to take time for yourself. You can easily get lost in taking care of the other person and putting your own emotional needs aside. I remember huge guilt leaving town for a few days and him ending up in the hospital at the same time. I think it was a good break looking back because when I came home he was put on hospice and it just got tougher from that point. You can't take care of anyone else if you aren't taken care of.