A New Decade

10 years ago I didn't make any plans and my only thoughts on the future were all so uncertain. New Years was spent calling an ambulance because Ray was so sick and needed to go back to the hospital. While most people look at the New Year as a time for new beginnings and to wipe the slate clean I was not so positive. Everything I had known and I knew, all my hopes and dreams, were slowly dying.

Every year since I think, Is this my year? Will I finally be more certain about what my future holds. The past 10 years I lost some of the most important people in my life. I had heard your 30's are supposed to be some of the best and for me I felt more and more anxious every year just floating through life. What am I supposed to be doing? The girls continue to get older and closer to that fateful age of 18 when they will be tested for the gene. Both having learning disabilities has pushed me to be even more anxious of what the future holds for both and continuing to push for them to receive the help they so need and deserve.

I have learned over the past 10 years I am stronger and can achieve much more than I ever thought possible. I can do things on my own, but the help and support of everyone around me is much needed and I need to learn it is ok to accept it.

I have grown a hobby into something more with my photography. My blog which I intended as a place to write down my feelings has given me a source of income and reached, and hopefully helped, a lot of people. I have made connections I never would have through my blogging.

I hope in the next 10 years I reach a place of contentment and stability. I hope to become less anxious and continue to grow personally and professionally.